[There's another long stretch of silence. He feels the tension, but he shared a horrifying thing. It makes sense to have that reaction.]
The conversion was usually violent. Forceful. It took fast to humans and machines. Slower with turtle biology, I think. Probably the mutation makes the conversion difficult without destabilizing the whole body.
But I wasn't a conversion target. I threw myself into their system.
Their.
Hivemind.
I never experienced a physiological change. At least nothing noticeable, they weren't going to risk me remaining attached.
[It was mental only. Even if he had to burn Kraang bits out of his body, he hadn't found any changes.]
[But....]
[It's also his first admission that the Kraang were trying to get control of him.]
[And he wasn't winning.]
[He's started to shake.]
The Technodrone was too powerful. Too large, it had gravity to it and it was tearing apart the city.
We needed it and the Kraang back in the prison dimension. We couldn't win an outright fight. And I was the only one with a hope to pilot a spaceship, so that was my job.
We didn't know what it meant until Mikey and I were in front of the controls.
[ just teenagers dealing with an apocalypse and horrific trauma way past their capabilities. Cool cool this is fine. He leans his forehead gently against Donnie’s shoulder. ]
And it meant… that? Having to connect? And keep them from taking over?
[He nods.] There were no buttons or controls. The only way to interact with the ship at all was to physically connect to it. Directly. I tried with just my arms, but all I was getting was information, no control.
Mikey....Mikey didn't realize the real danger. Nor Leo.
Raph is the only one who picked it up.
He's the only one who knows what....what it was like....
I’m sorry. Obviously I’ve never gone through that, but… I know what it’s like to be afraid of losing yourself. To have someone else controlling your body.
[The remaining Kraang could escape. She could find them. But that isn't the worst part.]
[The worst part is he could find them if he wanted.]
[It's hard to stop, now that he's admitted it.]
The Kraang are horrible. They don't....it's not that you're buried. Replaced. They just....
It feels so good once you're under. It would be so easy to give in to them because they shove whatever feeling they need out of you and make it....amazing.
If I wasn't still communicating with Mikey, if he wasn't there to remind me why I was there....
[ It’s not judgement. Just acknowledgement of the dire facts. Hunter can’t say he’d do any better in that situation. ]
I know you said you got into an argument with Eddie, but - he has this ability where he can sync up with people. Kind of access your mind. And Max can enter dreams and fight them.
If something like that happened to you, Mouse would help. No question.
[Voice still quiet. Soft because it's....it's a lot to admit.]
Probably. I would have been losing faster. It's....always been difficult for me to control my emotions and being such an amazing piece of technology on top was....
[There's another hard shiver.]
Eddie and I should be good. I know he'd help, but...
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Warmth also helps.
They weren't very warm.
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I think pressure helps because my battleshell kept me from bleeding out after.
Sometimes I can't take wearing it. The cold. But Raph is warmer so he helps when I can't.
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It was easier to go to one my brothers after the nightmares. Just....
To be sure they're okay.
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You - almost lost all of them. Right?
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[He turns his head, face buried against Hunter's side.]
They all almost died. Or worse.
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Or worse?
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There were only three Kraang originally.
Within six hours, they had hundreds in their forces.
They were capable of infecting and converting fauna and machines into more Kraang.
[Which isn't great implications for at least one brother.]
[Or himself jacking into that mess.]
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Which is to say - Hunter freezes for a moment, fighting back a small burst of panic. He’s fine. He’s here, he’s helping Donnie, so focus… ]
Did. Did they try to do that to you?
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The conversion was usually violent. Forceful. It took fast to humans and machines. Slower with turtle biology, I think. Probably the mutation makes the conversion difficult without destabilizing the whole body.
But I wasn't a conversion target. I threw myself into their system.
Their.
Hivemind.
I never experienced a physiological change. At least nothing noticeable, they weren't going to risk me remaining attached.
Not when their system wasn't winning fast enough.
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Why? What were you trying to do? Did it work?
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[But....]
[It's also his first admission that the Kraang were trying to get control of him.]
[And he wasn't winning.]
[He's started to shake.]
The Technodrone was too powerful. Too large, it had gravity to it and it was tearing apart the city.
We needed it and the Kraang back in the prison dimension. We couldn't win an outright fight. And I was the only one with a hope to pilot a spaceship, so that was my job.
We didn't know what it meant until Mikey and I were in front of the controls.
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[ just teenagers dealing with an apocalypse and horrific trauma way past their capabilities. Cool cool this is fine. He leans his forehead gently against Donnie’s shoulder. ]
And it meant… that? Having to connect? And keep them from taking over?
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Mikey....Mikey didn't realize the real danger. Nor Leo.
Raph is the only one who picked it up.
He's the only one who knows what....what it was like....
What they do.
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I’m sorry. Obviously I’ve never gone through that, but… I know what it’s like to be afraid of losing yourself. To have someone else controlling your body.
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[He wraps an arm around Hunter's middle.]
It's....terrible.
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[ No kind of about it. But - it mostly just means Hunter has some sense of what Donnie must be dealing with. ]
Is that what you have nightmares about?
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[Another shiver.]
No.
My nightmares are I give in willingly.
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They’re not here. And - they can’t find you.
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[The worst part is he could find them if he wanted.]
[It's hard to stop, now that he's admitted it.]
The Kraang are horrible. They don't....it's not that you're buried. Replaced. They just....
It feels so good once you're under. It would be so easy to give in to them because they shove whatever feeling they need out of you and make it....amazing.
If I wasn't still communicating with Mikey, if he wasn't there to remind me why I was there....
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[ It’s not judgement. Just acknowledgement of the dire facts. Hunter can’t say he’d do any better in that situation. ]
I know you said you got into an argument with Eddie, but - he has this ability where he can sync up with people. Kind of access your mind. And Max can enter dreams and fight them.
If something like that happened to you, Mouse would help. No question.
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Probably. I would have been losing faster. It's....always been difficult for me to control my emotions and being such an amazing piece of technology on top was....
[There's another hard shiver.]
Eddie and I should be good. I know he'd help, but...
But my mind wouldn't be safe.
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Unfortunately, I’m kind of an expert at navigating difficult mindscapes.
… and even if not, I’d do it anyway. You’re my friend, Donnie.
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[There is some muffled cursing against his side and he just curls up tighter against him, face very buried.]
[There might be a wet spot there because that was One Too Many Feelings.]
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