[Even if Donnie is deceptively strong, he could actually lift Hunter like a couple of grapes. It's the thought that counts!]
That's what happens with familial connections. It makes one stupid. I've done many a dumb thing for father's approval. Even when I knew chances were small that he would. Still, I tried, and it made me blind to things until I literally couldn't deny them.
It took us having a big fight before we could see eye to eye.
[Because that was the crux of it. Their father did not tell them things, but never once did he think his father would lie to him. Especially not with emotions involved.]
He wanted to take part in a competition that involved vehicular machines. One that destroyed machines and he knew I would not want to needlessly damage my inventions, especially that one. So he lied as to the nature of the contest, made it a safer one.
That lie I would have been angry about, but it would have been easy to let go. My invention was far and beyond the best.
The part that hurt was he used the excuse of spending time with us as to why he wanted to go. The thought he lied to us about that....
That was the part the broke my blinders. Started the fight.
[ Yeah, Hunter winces in sympathy. He’d have been much the same in a similar situation. Heck if Belos had wanted to do something awful and called it bonding…
(No, he’d done that all the time. Hunter had just never caught on. ]
Father has...emotional issues. Now that wasn't a surprise, we've always known that about him, but usually his only means of dealing with it was these episodes where he just shut us out completely. Which wasn't great, but I'm also not sure what else he could have done. Our whole situation had limited options.
[Life is hard when you're a PTSD ridden, generational traumatized, body dysphoria, depressed rat man who has to live in isolation with just your four turtle sons.]
But that year, we found out about the yokai and at least part of his issues by that point. So he went back to another form of coping.
To seek out glory. He wanted to win, to feel like he was worth something, like he could still be something amazing. He wanted validation, so he lied about the competition because he wanted to take part that badly. And from his perspective, that was the only thing he lied about.
He hadn't realized how I would take it until I yelled at him. That combined with the lie, and his tendency to withdrawn, I would see wanting to be with us would also be a lie.
[One more hard yank and the Bo Staff is pulled out of the tree, no worse for wear. The staff, the tree is a bit messed up.]
He corrected that. He admitted to lying about the competition and why he did, but that spending time with us was never part of it. He apologized and gave up on the competition because he saw how it hurt me.
I decided we'd wipe the floor with the competition after that because dad did deserve to feel awesome.
But since then, dad started working harder to be more open with us, let us in more so there wouldn't be that kind of misunderstanding again.
[ Hunter listens to all that, sitting back on Flapjack but not raising him off the ground any higher than sitting height. What a thought all of that is. It sounds painfully difficult - of course it does - but he has to wonder if that could have ever been a potential outcome of his conflicts with Belos.
(No. Never. And yet, the image is alluring. Focus, Hunter, this is not about you.) ]
I’m glad he did come around. That he did apologize. That’s - such a breach of trust though? Lying to you like that, especially when he knew why you’d say no.
Dad used my full name. That is sacred. If dad uses our full names, it's because he absolutely needs us to be honest and serious.
On both sides. I can count the number of times he's used my full name on my hands.
He used it, apologized, explained himself clearly, asked to leave the competition, was surprised when I insisted we keep going, and when I suggested I do a risky move, he insisted he take the risk instead. Very forcibly.
[Yes, good, tease Hunter. Its good for you to tease friends.]
It had its good days and bad days. [A pause.] Bad days being a subjective thing. I don't think my bad days could compare to what I imagine some of your bad days were like. [He really does not trust Belos at this point.]
Like I explained before, we're mutants. Draxum was a powerful yokai and before Draxum had found dad, he had been enslaved by another powerful yokai who had an extensive information network. So dad couldn't go to where yokai were, because it wouldn't be safe for our family. And humans, while individually can be quite kind, as a group cannot be trusted lightly. Mob mentality is a dangerous thing.
So dad had to raise us essentially in isolation without any knowledge of what to expect from us. He didn't even know we'd be able to talk until Leo did. [He leans against the tree, idly twirling his staff, just to keep his hands busy.]
Dad was the most present for those early years. Which makes sense. He had to keep us safe and help us figure out how to just...exist. There was no one to depend on. He would screw up sometimes, lose track of one of us, and he had always been so scared. He hated when he had to leave us alone to scavenge for supplies. There were a lot of days where we were barely scraping by and it was pretty clear it wore him down.
There was a frustratingly long time where he handled me with kid gloves because Raph, who has a very spiky shell, fell on top of me. [He taps the end of his Bo Staff against the metal covering his back.] There had been a lot of blood and pain, but the thing I can remember most clearly is just how much he had cried at the time.
But...
He always did his best to make us happy. He would get unessential items because he knew we would enjoy them. He went along with our games, encouraged our interests. He would show us movies, and would replay the same ones over and over again if we asked. He never made us do anything we didn't want to do, barring things that kept us safe of course.
He listened to us. And while he didn't always answer all our questions, he never talked down to us about them. At least not often, it usually depended on how much our sass was unwarranted. He always tried to find ways to give us something nice. As soon as Mikey was able to walk on two legs properly, he took us out for Halloween for as long as possible, since its a holiday where everyone is in costume.
He never wanted us to know how much it wore him down. It was hard to pick up at the time, but I can remember things pretty clearly, and its easy to see the signs now.
But that's a pretty fair assumption. Hunter winces and keeps listening.
It's a lot. It's NOT all pretty. That more than anything makes it feel more real to Hunter, who had ... well, nothing. He curls up a bit on the staff, hugging one knee to his chest.
There's so much he wants to ask about. He decides to pick at the smallest thread first and unravel it from there. ]
What's Halloween? I - I assume you can walk around among the humans safely, but what did you get to DO with him?
Halloween is a holiday and the best holiday. [Because it was easy for them to celebrate.]
Halloween is a delightful mix of fun and frights, where the people enjoy being scared from movies to haunted houses to pranks. Like I said, everyone dresses up in costumes, and some can get weird costumes, so no one questioned if we looked to be in 'two' costumes between our turtle selves and what we actually dressed up as. We were free to move around the whole day without a second look.
And the best part was the Trick or Treating, where kids go door to door and people pass out candy. We could get several pillow cases full by the time we were done. And if people refused candy or were poor sports about it, we got to play a prank. Not many refuse, but we were great at it. No toilet paper or eggs for us, we'd do things like flip all their Halloween decorations or sneak a noise maker into their house. We convinced one particularly rude geezer his house was haunted.
[Listen, we're in October and if Donnie gets a WHIFF OF HALLOWEEN VIBES-]
Oh, absolutely. Dad is pretty good at costumes, so even if they were simple from resources, he made sure they looked nice.
He's also delightfully petty and anyone who tried to put a damper on our night deserved it. He's also the one who taught us our ninja skills, so when he decided to help, things went off without a hitch.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DONATELLO
Hunter shifts his weight, then, and they float gently in that direction. ]
I've spent too much time as the guard, I think. That - brought back memories.
Re: DONATELLO
no subject
[ He hops off once they’re on the ground. ]
Mostly I just wish something like that HAD happened. You know.
no subject
[Momentum is a hell of a thing.]
I imagine it would not have gone as smoothly.
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Well - no. Probably. It took some pretty special circumstances for Luz to convince me to leave.
no subject
[Even if Donnie is deceptively strong, he could actually lift Hunter like a couple of grapes. It's the thought that counts!]
That's what happens with familial connections. It makes one stupid. I've done many a dumb thing for father's approval. Even when I knew chances were small that he would. Still, I tried, and it made me blind to things until I literally couldn't deny them.
It took us having a big fight before we could see eye to eye.
I'm aware I was lucky that was all it took.
no subject
It gives him a moment of silence to listen to that. ]
Yeah. That is lucky. But - that doesn’t mean it was good.
[ A pause: ]
What kind of a fight was it?
no subject
He lied.
[Because that was the crux of it. Their father did not tell them things, but never once did he think his father would lie to him. Especially not with emotions involved.]
He wanted to take part in a competition that involved vehicular machines. One that destroyed machines and he knew I would not want to needlessly damage my inventions, especially that one. So he lied as to the nature of the contest, made it a safer one.
That lie I would have been angry about, but it would have been easy to let go. My invention was far and beyond the best.
The part that hurt was he used the excuse of spending time with us as to why he wanted to go. The thought he lied to us about that....
That was the part the broke my blinders. Started the fight.
no subject
(No, he’d done that all the time. Hunter had just never caught on. ]
What was the real reason then?
no subject
[Life is hard when you're a PTSD ridden, generational traumatized, body dysphoria, depressed rat man who has to live in isolation with just your four turtle sons.]
But that year, we found out about the yokai and at least part of his issues by that point. So he went back to another form of coping.
To seek out glory. He wanted to win, to feel like he was worth something, like he could still be something amazing. He wanted validation, so he lied about the competition because he wanted to take part that badly. And from his perspective, that was the only thing he lied about.
He hadn't realized how I would take it until I yelled at him. That combined with the lie, and his tendency to withdrawn, I would see wanting to be with us would also be a lie.
[One more hard yank and the Bo Staff is pulled out of the tree, no worse for wear. The staff, the tree is a bit messed up.]
He corrected that. He admitted to lying about the competition and why he did, but that spending time with us was never part of it. He apologized and gave up on the competition because he saw how it hurt me.
I decided we'd wipe the floor with the competition after that because dad did deserve to feel awesome.
But since then, dad started working harder to be more open with us, let us in more so there wouldn't be that kind of misunderstanding again.
no subject
(No. Never. And yet, the image is alluring. Focus, Hunter, this is not about you.) ]
I’m glad he did come around. That he did apologize. That’s - such a breach of trust though? Lying to you like that, especially when he knew why you’d say no.
no subject
no subject
Did you ACTUALLY forgive him after that?
no subject
Dad used my full name. That is sacred. If dad uses our full names, it's because he absolutely needs us to be honest and serious.
On both sides. I can count the number of times he's used my full name on my hands.
He used it, apologized, explained himself clearly, asked to leave the competition, was surprised when I insisted we keep going, and when I suggested I do a risky move, he insisted he take the risk instead. Very forcibly.
He proved he meant every word.
1/2
Then he's a good dad. Just - well. It sounds like he made a mistake. A horrible one, but ...
no subject
What IS your full name?
no subject
Donatello.
He usually calls me purple. Sometimes Donnie when we're doing serious stuff, but Donatello is only for the vulnerable stuff.
no subject
[ But Donatello's still a cool name okay. ]
What was growing up with him like?
no subject
But names are a whole thing with our family.
....do you want just the good stuff or the full picture?
no subject
[ Will he tease you with that someday? Maybe. ]
... Full picture. Uh - anything you feel comfortable talking about.
no subject
It had its good days and bad days. [A pause.] Bad days being a subjective thing. I don't think my bad days could compare to what I imagine some of your bad days were like. [He really does not trust Belos at this point.]
Like I explained before, we're mutants. Draxum was a powerful yokai and before Draxum had found dad, he had been enslaved by another powerful yokai who had an extensive information network. So dad couldn't go to where yokai were, because it wouldn't be safe for our family. And humans, while individually can be quite kind, as a group cannot be trusted lightly. Mob mentality is a dangerous thing.
So dad had to raise us essentially in isolation without any knowledge of what to expect from us. He didn't even know we'd be able to talk until Leo did. [He leans against the tree, idly twirling his staff, just to keep his hands busy.]
Dad was the most present for those early years. Which makes sense. He had to keep us safe and help us figure out how to just...exist. There was no one to depend on. He would screw up sometimes, lose track of one of us, and he had always been so scared. He hated when he had to leave us alone to scavenge for supplies. There were a lot of days where we were barely scraping by and it was pretty clear it wore him down.
There was a frustratingly long time where he handled me with kid gloves because Raph, who has a very spiky shell, fell on top of me. [He taps the end of his Bo Staff against the metal covering his back.] There had been a lot of blood and pain, but the thing I can remember most clearly is just how much he had cried at the time.
But...
He always did his best to make us happy. He would get unessential items because he knew we would enjoy them. He went along with our games, encouraged our interests. He would show us movies, and would replay the same ones over and over again if we asked. He never made us do anything we didn't want to do, barring things that kept us safe of course.
He listened to us. And while he didn't always answer all our questions, he never talked down to us about them. At least not often, it usually depended on how much our sass was unwarranted. He always tried to find ways to give us something nice. As soon as Mikey was able to walk on two legs properly, he took us out for Halloween for as long as possible, since its a holiday where everyone is in costume.
He never wanted us to know how much it wore him down. It was hard to pick up at the time, but I can remember things pretty clearly, and its easy to see the signs now.
no subject
But that's a pretty fair assumption. Hunter winces and keeps listening.
It's a lot. It's NOT all pretty. That more than anything makes it feel more real to Hunter, who had ... well, nothing. He curls up a bit on the staff, hugging one knee to his chest.
There's so much he wants to ask about. He decides to pick at the smallest thread first and unravel it from there. ]
What's Halloween? I - I assume you can walk around among the humans safely, but what did you get to DO with him?
no subject
Halloween is a delightful mix of fun and frights, where the people enjoy being scared from movies to haunted houses to pranks. Like I said, everyone dresses up in costumes, and some can get weird costumes, so no one questioned if we looked to be in 'two' costumes between our turtle selves and what we actually dressed up as. We were free to move around the whole day without a second look.
And the best part was the Trick or Treating, where kids go door to door and people pass out candy. We could get several pillow cases full by the time we were done. And if people refused candy or were poor sports about it, we got to play a prank. Not many refuse, but we were great at it. No toilet paper or eggs for us, we'd do things like flip all their Halloween decorations or sneak a noise maker into their house. We convinced one particularly rude geezer his house was haunted.
no subject
That's ... amazing. He let you do that? Did he help you with the costumes? A-and the pranking?
no subject
Oh, absolutely. Dad is pretty good at costumes, so even if they were simple from resources, he made sure they looked nice.
He's also delightfully petty and anyone who tried to put a damper on our night deserved it. He's also the one who taught us our ninja skills, so when he decided to help, things went off without a hitch.
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