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pyrighteous) wrote2022-10-14 05:50 pm
pyrighteous) wrote2022-10-14 05:50 pm
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[IC-Ish] [Snek] The Guard(s)’ Book
Spoilers for Owl House Season 2 (and maybe some for S3E1 after 10/15 if there are tidbits to incorporate). Non-canonical and borderline fanfiction.
COVER / FRONTISPIECE
So You Want to Join Ye Emperor's Coven
DON'T
DON'T has been written in directly in scratchy but neat handwriting. The O is a perfect circle ... and in the center of it, a light glyph has been hidden. Activating it consumes the page and reveals the secret writing in the rest of the book.
VISIBLE CONTENT
The manual picks up again for the last fifteen pages of the book or so. The very last five pages are all blank, save for four more perfect circles, one in each corner of the page. These are all also light glyphs, with the interior part of the design marked in invisible ink. A few have already been torn out and clearly used.
The handwritten pages are ... fanfiction! They tell a lurid (and improbable) tale of the forbidden romance between the Abomination Coven Head and the Bard Coven head. Apparently Devon Deamonne is quite the outrageous flirt compared to Alain Helicoverpa, an uptight bard with more pride than sense. The two used to be friends, but have since fallen into more of a vicious rivalry. Both are frantic to prove their worth to Belos, who is not yet Emperor.
This results in a short series of escalating conflicts, which then results in the two of them being assigned to a dangerous mission hunting wild magic at the summit of the left Knee. All goes well until the wild witch they're hunting uses ice magic to strand the two of them in an abandoned cottage. With barely any fuel, and only one bed, the two have to work together to stay warm...
The names - as well as the rivalrous relationship - are historically accurate. The rest ... is not. There IS a sex scene, but it's a tasteful PG-13 FTB type affair. The original text was written approximately two hundred years ago, based on the language used and references to popular books at the time; Belos has not yet made himself Emperor, but the Coven system is gaining traction fast. Some pages in the middle have been torn out and replaced in an attempt to "update" sections later on.
Weirdly, although the writing is competent (if not that great), there are several easy words that have been spelled incorrectly. There are also multiple epilogues that serve as mini sequels, usually 5-10 pages each.
INVISIBLE CONTENT - GUARDS
TOUCH THE CIRCLE
Touching the circle on the frontispiece (the "O" in "DON'T") turns the whole page into a light glyph, as noted above. The same applies for any of the Os in the back of the book as well. There are instructions towards the back detailing how to replace the frontispiece by using a page from another manual.
Reading the book under the light provided by a glyph lights up an array of colors in the book, all written in inks that are not visible otherwise. There seem to be five main colors, each associated with A one letter sign-off (and, apparently, a different speaker):
A - Red. A lively speaker with scratchy, cramped handwriting. His entries focus on relationships primarily.
B - Orange. A terse speaker; all of his comments directly relate to escape attempts or glyph magic. Seems to be as much of a leader as this kind of setup allows.
C - Yellow. The voice most likely to play devil's advocate on Belos's behalf. Has a lot of handwritten fights with B.
F - Indigo. A soft, concerned voice that has a lot of practical tips, including lists of "allergies."
H - Magenta. A rare voice compared to the others, with most of his notes showing up towards the end. Most of his comments are questions with no answers, or instructions where he answers himself later on.
There are no entries made by D, E, or G.
INVISIBLE CONTENT - GENERAL
1. Invisible ink circles around words in the text, which form sentences when strung together in order (by color). B is the most prolific user of this method; judging by both this (and the other handwritten notes), B is the originator of most of the base text, with significant input from A. Many (though not all) of these invisibly circled words are also deliberately misspelled.
2. Actual comments written in the margins, also in invisible ink. These tend to cluster around certain parts of the story, especially chapter ends where there is more white space. This is where the obvious conversations between speakers take place.
3. Lists of things, added to by multiple speakers over multiple writing sessions. Again in invisible ink. Most of them have been started by F.
INVISIBLE CONTENT - ITEMS OF NOTE (CW)
2. A's notes are primarily shipping charts of the various coven heads. There are multiple ones with entirely different generations involved. Pre Belos, the charts are more about political strategy; after, they concern people that might be able to be approached for help. Both A and B have circled the Deamonne family name in multiple spots.
3. C's notes tear into B for being foolish and ungrateful. At one point, B asks C if he remembers the first time A was killed. Because he should. There's no response to this. More usefully, C seems to be keen on tracking Belos's physical state; his notes show a slow deterioration into monsterhood, at least up until a certain point. His replies taper off somewhere in the middle and do not return.
4. F's notes have long lists of useful things. What to avoid eating on the Boiling Isles (which includes a mixture of weird stuff, obviously poisonous stuff, and basically zero normal human things.) How to address minor wounds, specifically bleeding and stitches. Apparently grimwalker blood is a bit thinner than witch blood and doesn't clot as nicely. And some home remedies for the common mold and other minor maladies. There is a note here saying to hide these illnesses from Belos at all costs.
5. H's notes are intermittent, often squeezed in between the others. He has a few interactions with A and F primarily; he does not have any conversations with B at all.
6. There is a list on one of the very last pages that attempts to account for all the deaths and and locations of the remains of all the guards. A depressing number of them have question marks listed. There are other spots where a guard has hastily been added back in with brackets, as if discovered after that part of the list was solidified. E appears only a few times in this list - the last entry has notes about a violent ending, witnessed by B. A note is made about the galdorstone shattering. D shows up multiple times early on before disappearing somewhere around the halfway mark - question marks, but no confirmed shattering. There are roughly fifty entries, with some being question marks. A note from B mentions the graveyard, which includes a set of tally marks in a rainbow of colors.
The most frequent causes of death: electrocution, poison, and dismemberment. Several "falls" and ... "recycles," some of which have been marked with asterisks. All lines have question marks or a noted cause ... except one for H, which is simply blank.
7. There is only one mention of G: "spare parts." G does not comment anywhere in the book.
8. All of the letters have OPINIONS on the scene where Devon and Alain get together. A is defensive. He criticizes the others for not respecting his vision.
9. There is a lively back and forth about who has the best uniform, with tiny stick figure drawings. C seems to be the best artist of the group.
10. There is a set of notes towards the back where the guards have tried to leave a set of less depressing notes for their successors. LOTS of descriptions of snack stashes, with the occasional follow up note of “empty now” or “oh my Titan do NOT put anything other than jerky in there.” F in particular has a lot to say about the shelf stability of various sweets. B’s recommendations mostly include romance novel stashes.
11. The last marginal entry from B details his plans to escape with all of the remaining galdorstones OR shatter all of them in the attempt. After this point, the only responder is H, alone.
INVISIBLE CONTENT - GRIMWALKER CARE TIPS
GRIMWALKER CARE TIPS
- Arsenic (do NOT eat the cookies)
- Nightshade (ditto for the tea)
- Hemlock (tea and liquor both)
... And so on for a wide array of obvious human poisons. Also, a mild lactose intolerance.
A: instructions unclear got soda stuck in my ears. my ancestral memories tell me this was not the first time!
A: haha oops i always find this book too late for any of these! oh well!!